Why Am I So Stressed Out?
In July of 2020, as the world was coming back out again after Covid quarantines, I preached a message called, “My Weird Summer Vacation.” Great title, right? But what was the message about? Well, on my first day of vacation a few weeks earlier after arriving in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, I had a heart attack. Most likely stress induced.
There are no words that I can give to explain how irritated I was and how much I had been looking forward to some days resting on vacation. But that first morning after arriving, I woke up with chest pains and wound up at an emergency room.
The doctor who was on call informed me that I had experienced a “heart incident.” I asked him what that meant and he said that the numbers were showing something had happened but they weren’t sure what at that point. I explained to them that I was on vacation and I would check in with my cardiologist when I got back home from vacation.
With a concerned chuckle, he said plainly, “I would highly recommend you stay and let us monitor you at least overnight.” I looked at my wife and immediately knew I was spending the night. About 3 hours later, the doctor came back and said, “Well, the numbers confirmed you definitely had a heart attack and we will be sending you to a better equipped hospital in Knoxville.” A few hours later I was off in an ambulance to my next hospital stop.
It's really a pretty amazing story because upon arrival in Knoxville, the heart attack came back, harder than before. The crash team was called in, and I was prepped to go into surgery. The outcome was I had two stints put in my RCA (Right Coronary Artery) and I am thankful to say I am doing well today.
My heart attack was most likely because of various types of stress. So that’s what I want to talk about, STRESS, and in particular, the type of stress that pastors go through. According to statistics compiled by Soulsheperding.org, here are some of the major causes of stress for pastors:
70% of pastors say they have a lower self-esteem now than when they entered ministry (1)
70% constantly fight depression (2)
50% feel so discouraged that they would leave their ministry if they could, but can’t find another job (2)
80% believe their pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families and 33% said it was an outright hazard (1)
80% of ministry spouses feel left out and unappreciated in their church(2)
77% feel they do not have a good marriage (2)
41% display anger problems in marriage (reported by the spouse) (3)
38% are divorced or divorcing (1)
50% admit to using pornography and 37% report inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church (1)
65% feel their family is in a glass house (2)
Here are a few more…
53% of pastors do not feel that seminary or Bible college prepared them adequately (2)
70% do not have someone they consider a close friend (1)
50% do not meet regularly with an accountability person or group (6)
72% only study the Bible when preparing for sermons or lessons (1)
21% spend less than 15 minutes a day in prayer — the average is 39 minutes per day (4)
16% are “very satisfied” with their prayer life, 47% are “somewhat satisfied”, and 37% are either “somewhat dissatisfied” or “very dissatisfied” (spending more time in quiet prayer or listening to God versus making requests was correlated with higher satisfaction) (4)
44% of pastors do not take a regular day off (5)
31% do not exercise at all, while 37% exercise at least three or four days a week as recommended (6)
90% say they have not received adequate training to meet the demands of ministry (2)
85% have never taken a Sabbatical (6)
Now, most pastors I know have experienced some of the stress inducing things in these statistics. And I get it, you could read something like this list and immediately become discouraged or more depressed. It might feel hopeless, but I am here to tell you, it’s not hopeless!
Romans 15:13 (ESV) says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” There is hope available. Many pastors have gone through stress, burnout, and more, and learned how to get better, how to improve their marriages, how to overcome the stress, and how to not just survive, but thrive in ministry. Ministry is a calling, and God will always make available the resources you need to equip you in your calling.
The first step is reaching out. You have to be proactive. It’s nearly impossible to get better all by yourself. At Pastor to Pastor, we have all kinds of resources available to help you. Take some time to browse through our website. Read the blog posts, listen to the podcasts, attend a retreat, or talk to someone on the phone, and then share this info with other pastors.
The good news is that you don’t have to walk through this alone. We are here, and our hearts are for you. We’re just a phone call or email away.
Oh, and my story? My heart is strong, the church I’m pastoring is healthy, in October I will celebrate 46 years of marriage, and I am in my 35th year of full-time pastoral ministry. It’s not always been easy, and there were hardships, struggles, and a couple of stints along the way, but I have learned so much. And if God could help me, He can also help you. Give us a call.
All these surveys are of Protestant pastors from a variety of denominations in America: (1) David Ross and Rick Blackmon’s “Soul Care for Servants” workshop reported the results of their Fuller Institute of Church Growth research study in 1991 and other surveys in 2005 and 2006. (2) Francis A Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development research studies in 1998 and 2006. (3) Leadership Magazine’s research for their article on “Marriage Problems Pastors Face,” Fall 1992 issue. (4) Grey Matter Research, 2005 scientific study of pastors from every city in America. (5) Pastors at Greater Risk by H.B. London and Neil B. Wiseman, Regal Books, 2003. (6) Focus on the Family 2009 survey of 2,000 pastors. (7) Leadership Journal poll of readers, 2013.
