A Matter Of The Heart
What was Jesus really saying when he made the statement, “Blessed are the pure in heart” What was he truly referring to when he made what seemed like such a simple statement to those desiring to follow him? To his followers he could be speaking of their outward motives and actions. To many in that day the heart was directly related to the seat of one's emotions.
Jesus however, was speaking in a totally different context. To him, the heart is the totality of the inner person. The heart is the seat of character, the origin of desires, affections, perceptions, thoughts, reasoning, imaginations, conscience, intentions, purpose, will, and faith. In other words, our heart is like our control tower, where our thoughts, desires, and faith are found.
As pastors, we so often throw the word “heart” around with little understanding of the power that it has both in and over us. Maybe this is the reasoning behind the Proverb 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” The heart is the center of our spiritual life. If the fruit tree is bad, you don’t try to fix the fruit; you focus on treating the roots that bring life to the tree. If a person's actions are evil, it’s not enough to change habits; you have to go much deeper. You must go to the heart of the problem, which is most often, the heart.
As pastors, we are the world's best at camouflaging our brokenness and pain. We smile through the pain as we have learned how to function in our dysfunction. We met Jesus. We fell in love with Jesus. We received a special call in our heart to the ministry and we declared a big yes. At first we saw him so amazingly clear. Our life of worship was so real and our prayer life was one of great joy as we moved on amazing levels of faith as we trusted him with every area of our life, our family, and our ministry. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a rock was thrown in our direction. A rock of insult, betrayal, or accusation. A letter or email demeaning you as a person and a pastor. A person “ghosting” you after you have poured multiple hours of time into them and their family. The rock could have come from anywhere, but it came. Before the rock, you saw Jesus clearly and had little problem trusting and believing in him and his calling on your life. Now, however, the window you once saw Jesus clearly from is shattered and you do not see him so clear now. In some areas you see him large and strong and in others he appears small and insignificant. Your image of Christ has now been challenged and you find yourself pulling away from your personal time with Christ because there is now a deep wound in your heart.
As I meet with one pastor after another, I see this issue come alive more than I can say. The wounds of our heart often cause us to stop and acknowledge a disease that's in our own heart. One that we have known for years was there, we have just learned how to function in our dysfunction. I mean seriously, who would we talk to about it anyway, right? So what do we do? We keep preaching, praying, singing, counseling, and doing what pastors do in a mode of survival rather than one of thriving in the call that God has placed upon our lives.
It is here that an eternal decision will be made. Do we truly acknowledge the deep wound in our heart? Do we finally deal with the internal monster of sexual abuse, neglect, rejection, addiction, pornography, low self esteem, hidden failure, and the list goes on and on.
“Why now” pastors so often ask. I have a wife, kids, and a church. Why does it seem my world is crashing now? The fact is sir, God loves you more than he does your gift. He loves you more than he does your church or ministry. His ultimate desire as a Heavenly Father is to see his son healthy and well. God did not create the ministry for you, he created you for the ministry.
The reality is that what you see as a very negative time could very well be one of the greatest moments of your life. It is here we begin to understand the statements by Jesus such as “Blessed are the poor in spirit” or “Blessed are those who mourn.” Here, we discover the healing and freedom we have so desperately desired when we realize we can no longer live under the facade of our life and open our arms to a Father who is so ready to both receive and heal us.
This is why Pastor to Pastor exists. You see, the person mentioned above was me 25 years ago. At the top of my world in ministry. Pastoring a large church, traveling the nation speaking on TBN and other networks, and then a rock was thrown and totally destroyed my window. At that moment I thought life, marriage, and ministry was over. The journey was one of deep fear and pain. It was here however that I finally dealt with the private pain that was inflicted on me as a 12-year-old boy and one that had owned me for my entire adult life. The reality is that my pride, ego, and fear caused my world to crash. While many abandoned me in the moment of my deepest pain, it was here that my Heavenly Father met me in a way that I had never known before. His embrace and acceptance of me was like something I had not ever experienced. The 25 year journey of healing and restoration has now allowed me to have the greatest marriage I could dream of, four children and three grandchildren actively serving God. My son, Brad Livingston, was transitioned in as Lead Pastor of our church, Transformation Church, five years ago. It has now grown from 250 to over 1,000 each Sunday.
What am I saying? I’m saying it's time to get your heart right. It’s time to finally walk in the healing and wholeness that you are preaching to others. It’s time to focus on what really matters and that is, A Matter of Your Heart.
We are here for you. I am here for you. You are not alone. You are why Pastor to Pastor exists.
